Work to live or live to work?

If you’ve ever felt like your work or your routine has become your whole personality, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re probably not doing it wrong.

There’s a type of person whose career or lifestyle doesn't just sit in one part of their life—it expands. It touches everything. What they wear, where they go, how they spend their money, what they eat, how they think. It’s more than a job. It’s how they live.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because the two main areas of my life—fashion and wellness—are both deeply immersive. You don’t really dip your toe into either. You dive in. They attract people who are fully committed, who think about their work or practice the same way someone might think about a belief system. And once you're in, it becomes hard to separate who you are from what you do.

In fashion, it’s not just about putting together outfits. It’s about how you present yourself. How you read a room. How you tell a story without saying a word. People in this world live visually. They know how to style a look that communicates something specific, even when it seems “effortless.” It’s never random. It’s curated. It’s intentional. The good ones aren’t copying trends. They’re building identity. Their job might be styling, designing, branding—but in reality, they’re living it 24/7.

The same goes for wellness. It’s not just going to the gym or eating a certain way. It becomes about energy, recovery, discipline, nervous system regulation, what you’re putting in your body and how you’re taking care of it. The people in this space don’t think of their routines as optional. It’s how they operate. It’s their baseline. And again—it’s not about perfection or performance. It’s about alignment.

I’ve spent the past few years split between these two worlds. Styling, branding, producing, while also working in the wellness industry, managing routines, learning how to take care of myself and others in a real way. Some days I’m pulling archival designer pieces for a shoot. Some days I’m tracking sleep, prepping food, and showing up at 6 AM to help someone feel better in their body. Most days, it’s both. My days don't have clean categories. And neither do I.

What I’ve realized is this: when you surround yourself with people who care deeply about their work, you start to let go of the pressure to be “balanced.” Most of my friends aren’t living for the weekend. They’re building lives where their work reflects who they are. Their routines are more than habits—they’re values in action. They don’t try to compartmentalize everything. They integrate it. And I think that’s something more of us should feel okay doing.

There’s a narrative that says your work shouldn’t define you. That you need to separate everything in order to stay sane. And yes, boundaries matter. Rest matters. But I don’t think you have to feel bad for loving what you do so much that it becomes part of your identity. That’s not always toxic. Sometimes, it’s exactly what keeps you going.

So if you’re someone who feels like they’re “too much” about the things they care about—if you’ve been told to chill, to log off, to care less—I want to offer another perspective. Maybe you’re not obsessive. Maybe you’re just paying attention. Maybe you’ve built a life where your passions aren’t hobbies, they’re the structure. Maybe that’s not something to fix. Maybe that’s the goal.

There are people who work to live.
And then there are people who live their work because they love what they’re building.

If you fall into the second group, I hope you stop apologizing for it.
It might just be your superpower.